Comeback Post...

It's been exactly 1 year now since I have incepted my thought process towards writing something interesting. Well, to be honest, I haven't wrote in all these months and now when I visit my blog, something seems missing. The page looks as if it has been hit by draught :P...
You wanna know what I was doing all these months. Lemme take you through a guy's life whom I have been closely following...
A guy with the initials SK who has always inspired me by his thoughts, curiousity about things, intelligence, attitude towards life etc etc. He is a fun person to be around, generous and kind(DIL SE...) and the more you the less you would be left with words. All these months I have been quite amazed by him and his posts on his blog. What a creative, imaginative mind. I have been closely monitoring his writings and always think of writing something of the same sort. So real, natural just like a novel you would never want it to end.

Why am telling about this SK person is because am not the kind of person who gets influenced by people so easily. But his writings have generated a whole new interest in me...Blogging-A creative time pass I would say...

Hope to continue putting my thoughts through this...

See you soon people...Till then have fun.

A Poetic Resignation...

Read this Poetic Resignation...


Employee Writes...

The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig
The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.
To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say
My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.
The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age
This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don't know if I should stay.
The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate
Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don't know if I should stay!
The managers don't know what they talk
The team doesn't know where they walk
That's a bad situation, what say?
I don't know if I should stay.
I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace
I can't keep switching day by day
I don't know if I should stay.
The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess
No more will I walk their way,
It's all done, I won't stay.

Thanks & Regards
Employee


Manager's Replies...

What I want to say?
The decision is good or decision is bad
Only God knows still I am glad
Keep moving in life that is what I can say
If you feel right go in the same way
May god give you the work, the challenge you want
Anyway there is always a second chance
Chances are there, grab them snatch them
That is what I can say
Keep on jumping companies to get more and more and more....
That will keep you always a fore (Even to me)
From my experience I can tell you
Being in software development is like taking hell out of you
You are frustrated since you have no quality work
And you were frustrated because you had quantity work
It's always like that previous job was better than the current one
And expects the new job will be much better than this one
But what you get is a frustration level up to sun
Than you will again send the resignation like this one
This is all what I want to say
Have you completed all the formalities?
Filled the form and got it signed from department humanities (HR)
Once done you can take all your cash
But don't refer others as they will follow you're a*s.
At last I appreciate your contribution to the company
Even though there was not any....
You will keep a copy of this with you for FYI
Don't feel shy
As I also got it some time back from my old manger say Hi....
That is all what I want to say.

My Dear Jagjit...

...Here's a humorous take on a mom's letter to his son...

My dear Jagjit,

I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there.

I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20miles.

I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love - Mom.

P.S. Jagjit, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.

WELCOME TO HOTTEL-KARNAL-A-FONIA

Remember the famous song HOTEL CALIFORNIA by the EAGLES..
Well here's a remake of that...Indian Ishtyle !!!

On the dark GT highway
Pagdi patka in my hair
Warm smell of some dhabas
Rising up in the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a ttharra joint

My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I must have drunk over a pint
There he stood in the drive way
I heard his truck helper yell
And I was thinking to myself
This had to be Devinder Singh Behl
Then he belched, and scratched his head
And he was on the highway
And the other drivers leaning from their truck car doors
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Vaddi changi place (vaddi changi place)
Vaddi changi place
Massage, manicure, pedicure at Karnal-a-fonia
Any kind of ear (any kind of ear)
You can clean it here

His car's grill was definitely twisted
He's got a Maruti-Benz
He's got a lot of petty petty MLAs
Whom he calls friends
Dancing bhangra in the courtyard
See surdie sweat
Some dancer is this Devinder
Armpits stinking wet
So I told the bell captain
I's made a reservation online
And he said, oye khoteyya our internet hasnt worked at all Since Y2K - 1999

And still those drivers were calling from the drive way
Woke me in the middle of the night
I know I heard them say

Welcome to the hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Itthey karlo rest (itthey karlo rest)
Itthey karlo rest
Aish karo at the hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Kudi umr bais (kudi umr bais)
Will serve you nice

Daler on the ceiling
And on the walls in every guise
And waitresses dressed like actresses
From flicks of Subhash Ghai's
And in the downstairs canteen
I sat down for my meal
Butter chicken, and sarson da saag
Had a shock when they showed me the bill
Looking for help I saw Devinder
Dancing wildly on the floor
I had to find my hostess back
Oh where is this Gurpreet Kaur?
Relax said Milkha Singh
Play golf with my son Jeev
Tu ban gaya Punjab da puttar
Now you cant ever leave

So here I am,
Wasting life at the Hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Vaddi changi place (vaddi changi place)
Vaddi changi place
Converted to member of Hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Whoever arrives (whoever arrives)
Stays till he dies !!!

Mumbai Humour...

Hey guys n gals out there...many of u must have been to Mumbai. Well, here's something that i gave thought to and derived some cool translations of some english sentences...check it out...

Mumbai ki Language:

1. There's a minor problem -----------------------Arre yaar, thoda "Waanda" ho gaya
2. There's a big problem --------------------------Arre yaar, "Jol" ho gaya
3. Got into a fight ---------------------------------Arre yaar, "Raada" ho gaya
4. You'll be surprised -----------------------------Tu Ekdam "Hill" jayega kya
5. I am outta here --------------------------------Chal apun "Kalti" marta hai.
6. Don't fool us ------------------------------------Dekh , tu "Shendi" mat laga sabko
7. Get out of here ---------------------------------Chal e Shaaane, "Hawa" aande
8. I am not stupid---------------------------------Apun kya "ALIBAAG" se aaya hai ?
9. Take the girl and run away with her------------Ladki ko leke, sidha ONE-TUS, kya?
10. Do u drink daily?------------------------------Tu kya roz "FULL TOO" hota hai?
11. You are scared --------------------------------Dekh , teri to "FATH" gayi
12. You wanna get beaten up? --------------------Eh Du kya "Kharcha Pani" ?
13. Take him away -------------------------------Use jara "Khopche" me leke ja
14. What a beautiful lady !! -----------------------Kya "Zakaas Item" hai baava!!
15. What a sexy lady!! ----------------------------Kya "Raapchik Maal" hai baap!!
16. Stop bluffing ----------------------------------Eh Jyaada "RAAGPATI" mat de..
17. Stop bull shitting ------------------------------Chal apna "BOL BACHAN" bandh kar
18. Ya..she is staring at u.. buddy!!! ---------------Kya sahi "LINE" deh reli hai "Bhiduu"!!
19. Don't get tensed... -----------------------------Jyaada "LOAD" nahi leneka kya??
20. Get lost !! -------------------------------------Abe, "Hata Saawan Ki Ghata"
21. Don't bore me… -------------------------------Jyaada "PAKAA" mat
22. No one should know about this ----------------Sab kaam "SUMDI" me hona chahiye…kya?
23. She gives me a hard on ------------------------Apun ka BABURAO naach rela hai kya?

Indian Humour...

Next time you get asked an annoying Indian question, answer it like this...read on, it's funny!

Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target....

Q. You're from India, aren't you? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation? [note: This one we were actually asked in August '93 by a real estate agent when house-hunting in Boston.]
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started elephant-pooling with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem.....

Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes.

Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.

Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.

Q. How come you speak English so well?
A. You see when the British were ruling India,they employed Indians as servants. It took too long for the Indians to learn English. So the British isolated an "English-language" gene and infused their servants' babies with it and since then all babies born are born speaking English. A variation to the above is a compliment --- "You speak very good English." Response: Thanks. So do you.

Q. Are you a Hindi?
A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.

Q. Do you speak Hindu?
A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.

Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me go to school.

Q. India is very hot, isn't it?
A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.

Q. Are there any business companies in India?
A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian prinicples of self-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and grow our own food. That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians -- it is a lot of hard work.

Q. Indians cannot eat beef, huh?
A. Cows provide milk which is a very essential part of Indian diet. So eating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the population of the country, the government is trying to encourage everyone to eat human meat.

Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly?
A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But it is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work when I meditate like that. But the bosses there do the same thing. That is why things are so inefficient there.

Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?
A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the botton of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk.

Q. Why do you sometimes wear Indian clothes to work?
A. I prefer it to coming naked.

Q. How do you celebrate Thanksgiving day in India?
A. By roasting an American....

Welcome to my blog!

"Heart Of Gold"

I want to live,
I want to give
I've been a miner
for a heart of gold.
It's these expressions
I never give
That keep me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
Keeps me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.

I've been to Hollywood
I've been to Redwood
I crossed the ocean
for a heart of gold
I've been in my mind,
it's such a fine line
That keeps me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
Keeps me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.

Keep me searching
for a heart of gold
You keep me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm growing old.
I've been a miner
for a heart of gold.