Friday, July 18, 2008

My Dear Jagjit...

...Here's a humorous take on a mom's letter to his son...

My dear Jagjit,

I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there.

I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20miles.

I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love - Mom.

P.S. Jagjit, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008


Remember the famous song HOTEL CALIFORNIA by the EAGLES..
Well here's a remake of that...Indian Ishtyle !!!

On the dark GT highway
Pagdi patka in my hair
Warm smell of some dhabas
Rising up in the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a ttharra joint

My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I must have drunk over a pint
There he stood in the drive way
I heard his truck helper yell
And I was thinking to myself
This had to be Devinder Singh Behl
Then he belched, and scratched his head
And he was on the highway
And the other drivers leaning from their truck car doors
I thought I heard them say

Welcome to the
hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Vaddi changi place (vaddi changi place)
Vaddi changi place
Massage, manicure, pedicure at Karnal-a-fonia
Any kind of ear (any kind of ear)
You can clean it here

His car's grill was definitely twisted
He's got a Maruti-Benz
He's got a lot of petty petty MLAs
Whom he calls friends
Dancing bhangra in the courtyard
See surdie sweat
Some dancer is this Devinder
Armpits stinking wet
So I told the bell captain
I's made a reservation online
And he said, oye khoteyya our internet hasnt worked at all Since Y2K - 1999

And still those drivers were calling from the drive way
Woke me in the middle of the night
I know I heard them say

Welcome to the
hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Itthey karlo rest (itthey karlo rest)
Itthey karlo rest
Aish karo at the
hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Kudi umr bais (kudi umr bais)
Will serve you nice

Daler on the ceiling
And on the walls in every guise
And waitresses dressed like actresses
From flicks of Subhash Ghai's
And in the downstairs canteen
I sat down for my meal
Butter chicken, and sarson da saag
Had a shock when they showed me the bill
Looking for help I saw Devinder
Dancing wildly on the floor
I had to find my hostess back
Oh where is this Gurpreet Kaur?
Relax said Milkha Singh
Play golf with my son Jeev
Tu ban gaya Punjab da puttar
Now you cant ever leave

So here I am,
Wasting life at the
Hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Vaddi changi place (vaddi changi place)
Vaddi changi place
Converted to member of
Hotel Karnal-a-fonia
Whoever arrives (whoever arrives)
Stays till he dies !!!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Mumbai Humour...

Hey guys n gals out there...many of u must have been to Mumbai. Well, here's something that i gave thought to and derived some cool translations of some english sentences...check it out...
Mumbai ki Language:

1. There's a minor problem -----------------------Arre yaar, thoda "Waanda" ho gaya
2. There's a big problem --------------------------Arre yaar, "Jol" ho gaya
3. Got into a fight ---------------------------------Arre yaar, "Raada" ho gaya
4. You'll be surprised -----------------------------Tu Ekdam "Hill" jayega kya
5. I am outta here --------------------------------Chal apun "Kalti" marta hai.
6. Don't fool us ------------------------------------Dekh , tu "Shendi" mat laga sabko
7. Get out of here ---------------------------------Chal e Shaaane, "Hawa" aande
8. I am not stupid---------------------------------Apun kya "ALIBAAG" se aaya hai ?
9. Take the girl and run away with her------------Ladki ko leke, sidha ONE-TUS, kya?
10. Do u drink daily?------------------------------Tu kya roz "FULL TOO" hota hai?
11. You are scared --------------------------------Dekh , teri to "FATH" gayi
12. You wanna get beaten up? --------------------Eh Du kya "Kharcha Pani" ?
13. Take him away -------------------------------Use jara "Khopche" me leke ja
14. What a beautiful lady !! -----------------------Kya "Zakaas Item" hai baava!!
15. What a sexy lady!! ----------------------------Kya "Raapchik Maal" hai baap!!
16. Stop bluffing ----------------------------------Eh Jyaada "RAAGPATI" mat de..
17. Stop bull shitting ------------------------------Chal apna "BOL BACHAN" bandh kar
18. Ya..she is staring at u.. buddy!!! ---------------Kya sahi "LINE" deh reli hai "Bhiduu"!!
19. Don't get tensed... -----------------------------Jyaada "LOAD" nahi leneka kya??
20. Get lost !! -------------------------------------Abe, "Hata Saawan Ki Ghata"
21. Don't bore me… -------------------------------Jyaada "PAKAA" mat
22. No one should know about this ----------------Sab kaam "SUMDI" me hona chahiye…kya?
23. She gives me a hard on ------------------------Apun ka BABURAO naach rela hai kya?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Welcome to my blog!

"Heart Of Gold"

I want to live,
I want to give
I've been a miner
for a heart of gold.
It's these expressions
I never give
That keep me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
Keeps me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
I've been to Hollywood
I've been to Redwood
I crossed the ocean
for a heart of gold
I've been in my mind,
it's such a fine line
That keeps me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
Keeps me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm getting old.
Keep me searching
for a heart of gold
You keep me searching
for a heart of gold
And I'm growing old.
I've been a miner
for a heart of gold.